The Counselors Office (Open)

Maybe if Austin was in a different mind set, the situation he had walked into would have registered a little bit more in his mind. The sight of Edgar wiping his bloody knuckles on a rag didn't bother him in the least bit. It wasn't as if he had never done such a thing himself. There was no place for judgement on Austin's part at the moment though, he had something much heavier weighing on his mind.

"It's whatever.. Didn't mean to barge in. AW is fine.. I'm going to take your advice. But that isn't why I need to talk.."

Austin was quick to turn and shut the door, locking it as he did. Shoulder's low, Knuckles would slowly turn and move toward the other side of the room, only to turn and walk back again. Austin didn't even realize he was pacing at first, maybe it was just part of how he was dealing with his emotions.

"I.. I- Uh.. Have you ever.. done anything that you regret? Something impossible to change after it's already done?"

His pacing would stop for a moment, and those hazel hues would slide onto Edgar as Austin stood in place, awaiting an answer. It would probably take him a little while to get this off his chest, if he even felt he could trust him enough to actually tell him.

Edgar's words hung on Austin's mind for a few. He honestly knew nothing about this man apart from that he wasn't the usual power hungry faculty member. At least he didn't feel it so. By his words though, it seemed that he had dealt with many issues of his own. How close those issues were to his own, he wasn't sure. Nor did he really care to know at this moment.

Austin would take the seat this time without much hesitation. His heel bouncing up and down as he did. However the boy wouldn't speak just yet. It was like his brain was trying to piece together exactly what he wanted to say. Knuckles still felt he had to be careful, vague about exactly what he was talking about. At least until he knew for sure he wouldn't regret telling him.

"I.. I don't even know where to start.. Last week, someone called me.. Someone I never expected to hear from. It was my mother.. She abandoned me and my father when I was four.. Four years old and my mother already hated me enough to leave.."

Austin head would sink, his vision slipping to the floor as he hung his head, that dirty blond hair falling to hide his face. Even as he tried to get the words out, he found himself struggling not to see let the memories flood his mind, but it was inevitable. He could still practically hear the gunshot ringing in his head. He could hear the sound of her body hitting the floor without life. Before he realized what he was doing, it seemed he would pour his heart out to the man before him.

"I mean.. What kind of a mother does that!? I don't care what her excuses were.. She left me.. She left my dad.. And just when I didn't think things could get much worse.. My dad was killed. I-I'm alone.. It made me hate her even more..

His head would lift, and wet streaks could be seen trailing the corner of his eyes. Austin never showed this kind of weakness to anyone. Growing up he had always been taught that boys don't cry, that real men never showed their sadness. But the bottle was full, and the pressure had been building for quite some time. For some reason, Austin felt as though he could talk to this man. For now though he would pause, trying to pull himself back together.

Many emotions flew through Austin's head as he sat there and listened to what edgar would say. He couldn't help but feel angry with him for what he was saying, but at the same time he knew that he was telling the truth. She had been weak, in more ways than one. And maybe her calling him in the first place had been for her sake, not his.

It was still hard for him to hear. Wiping away at his face, Austin would lean back on the couch and rub at his face for a few seconds. His question at the end though was almost frightening to Austin, even though he had been expecting it. He would remain silent for a few seconds before replying.

"She wanted to talk on the phone.. But I asked where she was staying. I hauled my bike over there, found her room and she invited me in.. She looked pretty much like I remembered. She told me she had been a junkie and that's why she left.. She tried to explain herself.. To comfort me.."

As Austin spoke, he could vividly see everything playing out again in his head. He would stop speaking again after his voice trailed off and those horrible images came back into his head. And now he was fighting with himself again about whether to actually tell him the truth or not. Those Hazel eyes would raise to stare directly into Edgar Krane's face, his expression going blank just before he spoke.

"I shot her in the fucking face."

He would continue to stare toward the guidance counselor, trying to gauge how he would react. But there wouldn't be too much of a wait time before he spoke again.

"If you tell anyone.. I swear to god..

"I swear to god, I will kill you too.. I shot my own mother.. You think I wouldn't?"

Austin continued to stare blankly toward the man in front of him. He wasn't exactly responding the way he originally thought he would. It almost seemed as if he was trying to push him to get a reaction. Austin almost felt like throwing a punch right now. But he had a feeling that would land him in trouble. Normally he wouldn't care, but he did not have the patience to deal with that right now.

"You might just think I'm some bottom feeding high-school kid.. But I know people, I have real connections.. You think you're sealed up safe in here? You think you're safe outside this place?"

A test of his own. He wasn't necessarily trying to threaten him, he was just trying to get his point across. If he had to end up in prison before he turned 18, the life he wanted in the future would be extinct and Austin would just end up killing in prison, until he was killed himself. He didn't want to be locked up. But if he was ratted on, Austin wouldn't be afraid to tell his god father who did it. 

Something about Edgar's words struck him and he couldn't help but dwell. He was right, he thought. Austin could not allow this moment of weakness to cloud him forever. Had had already come to terms with what he had done, but that didn't mean it made everything easier. He as a murderer and nothing would be able to change that fact.

"Two people know.. My god father Rick and one of my good buddies, I had him take care of her body. There isn't going to be any trace of it.. I'm not worried about them saying anything. Rick is the reigning king on the streets right now for AW. OG, he won't for sure.."

Once again his voice would trail off. He was adamant that Rick would not say anything to anyone. He would have nothing to gain from it. Skidz though, he wasn't 100% on. He had gone through a lot with the kid, but they also butted heads from time to time. He was also one of the more violent members he had. Austin knew he would rather use violence than rule from the shadows.

"What do you think I should do? I can't just start wacking my crew.. That would not go over so well for me.. I know I'm a killer, but I had my reasons for shooting my mom.."

In taking more of the tea, he would shudder slightly. He had never been much of a tea drinker. But it was better than nothing. However, a big ol' bottle of Jack Daniels would have suited him a lot more at the moment.

"You really are hinting at getting them out of the picture, aren't you?

Edgar's words would be absorbed, Austin listening carefully to what the man said. Austin knew nothing of Edgar's past as of yet, but he found himself compelled to find out more. He obviously was a man with history. Austin could sense that he was incredibly intelligent. A man who seems to have figured the world out through those experiences.  Someone that Austin could learn a lot from.

"I'll figure something out.

Knuckles words were said in full confidence. Breathing through his nose, a sleeve would lift the clear the remnants of tears. As hard as this hit him, he knew that he could not allow it to cause him to stray from his golden path. Weakness would kill AW, in turn killing what mattered the most to him.

"Now that that is over with.. I want to see you later tonight, Give me a number to call. I want to talk to you under different circumstances.."

Austin would stand up, stretching out as he did. His left hand would lift to grasp the black sun-glasses which hung at the neck of his button up. Flicking them open, the freshmen would slide them onto his face to hide those bloodshot hazel eyes.He would refocus on Edgar, awaiting an answer while pulling his burner out.