The Trickster God [Speed Event]

Yin had been working this chick all night. And after the bombs fell and the world was torn asunder... Women were a precious commodity. Right when it was time to increase the human race and take his prize as a breeder he was pulled through a rift...

"Sonova."

Yin looked around and spotted an odd pistol... Odd because it didn't have sights... Or a trigger. It also didn't appear to have anywhere to put ammunition.

"The fuck?"

Str: 40
Dex: 85
Con: 115
Wis: 110
Int: 150

Gerard was relaxing in his car on the way to his family estate. He was about to confront his uncle about his involvement with the thugs that were after him. The same ones that killed his parents. He would rue the day that he decided he was the rightful Marquis of the Bellerose Estate. Gerard leaned back in his seat, a glass of Gentleman Jack over an ice rock sitting peacefully in his hand.

One second he was taking a sip of his drink, the next he was outside in the middle of District #552. A makeshift throne of car parts and cardboard was directly behind him. Upon the throne stood a man he did not recognize. As he looked around he would notice there were words in the sky. "Get Chance and Luck" Strange. Normally that kind of stuff doesn't happen.

In front of Gerard on the ground was a pile of weapons... poor ones at that. He would pick up the only thing he could think would fit right now. Grabbing two dull swords, Gerard would ready up and wait. The man who charges his enemy is the man who dies first. His master's words were always with him. Drawing a line on the ground, Gerard would look up at his enemy. A challenge.


STR: 25 (51) 100
CON: 25 (46) 105
WIS: 25 (36) 90
DEX: 25 (41) 105
INT: 25 (31) 100

Macht stepped out of the shower starke naked. Taking the towel from its holder, he began to dry off his hair. He walked over to the door and pulled it open, only to be met with a blinding light and he suddenly appeared in a battlefield, with the Apostles coming right for him, and a group of others. "Well fuck," he said, wrapping his towel around his waist and grabbing the closest weapon he could find - a stick of some sort.

"LET'S DO THIS MOTHERFUCKERS!" he roared at the oncoming enemy.

Str: 197
Con: 300
Dex: 1
Wis: 1
Int: 1

Shugo: Equipped with Cardboard Fighter's Gear. Imbues all of the fighter's attacks with annoying cardboard-cutting-capabilities. Also, this cape permits the user to rocket into the air a mile high - only if he farts.

Hailey: Equipped with Egg-axes. These eggs are taped to flimsy iron rods. When striking an opponent, the egg shatters, dealing full Int damage to the target and 1/2 int damage to all people within a five-foot radius. The eggs regenerate after use, somehow.

Aldritch: Equipped with Stupidly Big Hammers. These hammers are so heavy, they can't even be easily carried by people with 400 str. That said, if the user spins like a top he can pick up momentum and carry them. If Hex spins for a full round he can create a tornado and strike with enough force to create enormous craters. But he'll also be super dizzy.

Yin: Equipped with Cap Gun. This shitty cap gun goes "pew" when you press the trigger, since it lacks caps and any method of utilizing them. It also has mo trigger, cuz some shitty little kid ruined it. So it's just a model. When the user says "IMMA FIRIN MUH LAZOR" He fires an enormous laser that deals damage equal to 125% of his intelligence. This laser disintegrates everything it touches with con equal to 1/2 its power output if the target is not living.

Ira: Equipped with Water Guns and trash can lid. This trash can lid smells bad, but it's sturdy enough to take a tank missile and not shatter completely, so that's neat. These water guns are infinitely self-replenishing and fire constant streams of water at a chosen target. They deal damage equal to the user's full int. Additionally, the water smells, so a poison effect is applied so the target received 50% int damage over the next three rounds.

Gerard: Equipped with dual tinfoil blades. Flimsy and ineffective, these make your opponent feel really uncomfortable at their touch. Hits an opponent with Gerard's full Str and applies a "FEAR" effect, causing the chosen target to flee if his Int is higher than the target's Wis.

Vivi: Equipped with Butt Axe. A butt on a stick, this is really not any sort of ideal weapon. This butt emits farts constantly, and when it strikes any surface, it lets the loudest rip you've ever heard loose. Strikes the target for her full Int in damage, and additionally places a time-bomb on them. The following round, the time-bomb explode to deal her full Int in damage in a five-foot radius around the target.

Macht: Equipped with The Chosen Dildo. What are you holding. This wonderful dildo allows the user to propel himself in any direction at the speed of his Str + 30, and strikes just as hard.

Jack: Equipped with enormous cherry popsicles with morbid red liquid dripping down the chain-like handle. These popsicles taste super good. When Jack takes a bite out of them, he gains a bonus of +50 to all stats for the round. They also hit kinda hard. Ouch.

Vivi, Macht, and Jack would all appear like meteors from the sky, unlike the rest of the elegant mofos. As they all appeared, Henry would smile. "Get chance and luck," he spoke softly, then pointed toward the encroaching Apostles. "The enemy... Is at HONNOUJI!"

Suddenly, H.U.D. would appear in everyone's vision to track their HP and shields. A message popped up like a screen, reading only: DEFEND YOUR KING, HENRY THE GREAT. As the Apostles approached, the group would see health bars over their heads with gray numbers ranging anywhere from 50-99. 400 approached from all sides, intent on capturing the flag Henry made appear from a hole in the ground out of nowhere.

A flashing sign would appear in the sky...



Apostle stats: 50 across