HELP ME!

Note: Sorry for my lateness!

Now, I'm going to just jump right in. Firstly, speaking in very general terms, I don't think you have anything major or particularly daunting you need to fix. Your writing, to me, is fine overall, and I enjoy what I read, especially with the threads that I have with your characters.

However, the one minor problem I do notice is that there's a slight control flaw. For example, there's a slight tendency to make some small assumptions here and there. (ie. In Heroes vs Villains, you wrote that there were roses on the ground). I do believe that those are just minor details that can be easily rectified, so those aren't really an issue.

The one thing I actually really enjoy is the simplicity in your posts. You write nicely, and you add details about actions in your post that I can easily discern and understand as I read them. I would like to see more details on Melanie's thoughts and feelings, though. For example, instead of just saying she was angry, I like to see what she was thinking when she was angry, what spurred her to be angry, what she wanted to do etc.

Another thing I enjoy is your characters. Specifically--I enjoy reading about Kamile's shenanigans and Melanie's background with the Hallows and LG. Props to you for that.

Overall? Nice writing. Keep up the good work!